The Predicament of Preaching
Every so often I get the chance to speak on Sunday at the church where I grew up, and this coming weekend is one of those. This happens maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and is always a humbling experience for me. James said that "not many of you should presume to be teachers", and when these occassions arise I understand where he was coming from. There is an added weight of responsibility on the shoulders of one who would teach--and when I look at my own heart the weaknesses I see there seem to disqualify me from the job.
It's not for a lack of knowledge that I feel this way. I was homeschooled by Christian parents. I went to church every Sunday morning and every Wednesday night. My two years at Bible college were good ones. I learned Greek. I listened to Dr. McLeod. I wrote a research paper on Daniel's 70th week.
It's not for fear of public speaking either. Though I may have been shaky the first few times out, I have always had generous and helpful feedback. I am grateful for the mentorship of a gifted teacher and Bethel seminary grad who has given me valuable insight on forming a sermon from exegetical study. Others have told me that this is one of my spiritual gifts.
The trepidation I feel comes from a knowledge of myself. I think about my appetite for God, and how meager it is compared to the unfathomable depth of His love. I think about the pure gold of Scripture penned by the ink of those who gave their life for the truth. I think about Reformers who faced the fires of martyrdom because they would not compromise what they held so dear. I think of a guy like Jim Elliott who said "He is no fool if he would choose to lose the thing he cannot keep to find what he can never lose". People like that are qualified.
I, on the other hand, have trouble getting out of bed early to pray. I struggle to show the love of Christ to my next-door neighbors. I am too selfish with my time and money. It is hard to maintain a vision for what God wants that is bigger than the daily routines of life. My thoughts can go on and on like this.
But then God reminds me that I have never been sufficient. And if I have ever felt sufficient, I was merely being blinded by human pride. My need for the cross will never disappear while I live on this earth. To think that God has taken my filthy rags (and continues to do so) is an amazing thing. Even more amazing is the fact that He has clothed me with the bright white covering of Christ.
I'm still humbled by the responsibility of teaching. I can't imagine being a full-time pastor and feeling like this all the time. But I'm also thankful that God uses these experiences to refine me. I'm thankful that He puts my heart under the scalpel of the Holy Spirit. Going through this process is hard, so it's good that God always teaches me so much more than any scraps I may pass along to others.
PS -- I might link to the mp3 afterwards for feedback (positive or otherwise), but I'll see how it goes. I reserve the right to redirect you to a quality offering from John Piper if I see fit.
It's not for a lack of knowledge that I feel this way. I was homeschooled by Christian parents. I went to church every Sunday morning and every Wednesday night. My two years at Bible college were good ones. I learned Greek. I listened to Dr. McLeod. I wrote a research paper on Daniel's 70th week.
It's not for fear of public speaking either. Though I may have been shaky the first few times out, I have always had generous and helpful feedback. I am grateful for the mentorship of a gifted teacher and Bethel seminary grad who has given me valuable insight on forming a sermon from exegetical study. Others have told me that this is one of my spiritual gifts.
The trepidation I feel comes from a knowledge of myself. I think about my appetite for God, and how meager it is compared to the unfathomable depth of His love. I think about the pure gold of Scripture penned by the ink of those who gave their life for the truth. I think about Reformers who faced the fires of martyrdom because they would not compromise what they held so dear. I think of a guy like Jim Elliott who said "He is no fool if he would choose to lose the thing he cannot keep to find what he can never lose". People like that are qualified.
I, on the other hand, have trouble getting out of bed early to pray. I struggle to show the love of Christ to my next-door neighbors. I am too selfish with my time and money. It is hard to maintain a vision for what God wants that is bigger than the daily routines of life. My thoughts can go on and on like this.
But then God reminds me that I have never been sufficient. And if I have ever felt sufficient, I was merely being blinded by human pride. My need for the cross will never disappear while I live on this earth. To think that God has taken my filthy rags (and continues to do so) is an amazing thing. Even more amazing is the fact that He has clothed me with the bright white covering of Christ.
I'm still humbled by the responsibility of teaching. I can't imagine being a full-time pastor and feeling like this all the time. But I'm also thankful that God uses these experiences to refine me. I'm thankful that He puts my heart under the scalpel of the Holy Spirit. Going through this process is hard, so it's good that God always teaches me so much more than any scraps I may pass along to others.
PS -- I might link to the mp3 afterwards for feedback (positive or otherwise), but I'll see how it goes. I reserve the right to redirect you to a quality offering from John Piper if I see fit.
posted by Alan at 1:37 PM
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